There’s no denying that children with special needs often take up most (if not all) of the attention of parents. While it’s normal for parents to want to pay attention to these children who need it most, such an attitude often leaves siblings feeling left out and even invisible. Hence the term “glass child.” It’s gaining popularity on TikTok, but it’s not just a social media trend.
Meet the Glass Child
The term dates back to the 2010s when Alicia Maples addresses the issue in her TEDx Talk. With the wording, she compared siblings of children with disabilities to glass children because parents often see right through them.
In truth, siblings of children with various disabilities often feel left out of the whole family picture. They might also be given multiple responsibilities that aren’t appropriate for their age. In any case, pediatrician and Advanced Parenting: Advice for Helping Kids Through Diagnoses, Differences, and Mental Health Challenges author Kelly Fradin, M.D., says that it’s not okay to force these children to grow way too quickly or hold inappropriate expectations about their development.
How to Support Siblings of Children With Disabilities
One of the most important things parents need to understand is that siblings experience disability like the rest of the family. That’s why it’s not advisable to avoid providing appropriate information about their siblings’ disabilities. Be honest and communicate openly, also strive to answer questions. Remember that these children are perfectly capable of understanding the needs of their sibling(s.) Finally, don’t forget that not talking about a particular topic can make the children feel like a given topic is off-limits and mustn’t be discussed.
Of course, it’s hardly just about providing honest and age-appropriate information. To make the children feel really a part of the family, try to include quality time for the siblings as a part of your everyday life. Even if it’s just watching their favorite TV series together for 20 minutes or reading a book, children without disabilities need their parents’ attention just as much as their siblings with special needs.
Another thing to remember is that the “glass child” should feel it always has someone to turn to and share their feelings of anger/resentment/fear or whatever. Also, if possible, try to include siblings in plans for the future. That’ll help them cope with the “future” more adequately and not fear it.
How To Tell a “Glass Child” Apart
Keep an eye out for any of the red flags we’ll briefly explain below. A glass child is typically more withdrawn from other kids at their age. If the child quickly loses interest in hobbies or friends, or if their emotions and behavior shift considerably in a matter of minutes, it may be time to consider a way to help them.
Finally, never forget that while children with disabilities undoubtedly require more time, they’re by no means more important than other children. So, parents who fear raising a glass child must always strive to show their children without special needs that they are important as well.